Self Defeatism

I’ve been thinking of some of my defeatist attitudes.

1. I worked hard and lost six pounds a little while ago.  I purposefully gained it back plus a pound just to see how long it would take to gain it back and lose it again (I’m still trying to lose it). Why would I do that when I know it takes a lot longer to lose it than to gain it?
2. I was virtually out of credit card debt eight months ago and then I dropped the ball and I’m right back in it.  It’s not as bad as it was but it’s still there and it shouldn’t be. 

Are these self defeatist attitudes there because I can’t see behind them?  Is it just easier to keep making and overcoming the same challenges over and over again?  I like challenges but I need to stop backsliding and look beyond the same old challenges I set for myself.  I want a million dollar networth not just a positive networh, I want a toned, healthy body not just an okay body.  Hopefully, looking beyond the ordinary will help me maintain once I pass the little goals, that are big to me right now but in the long run these goals will just be a drop in the bucket!