Impotent

I feel impotent.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Definitely need to change jobs.

Home great. Had Anthony and Maya in thier rooms by 8:00 (because they were on punishmetn for fighting. but i did it anyway)

Work didn't go so great to day. Seemed to be a day of omens, signs that point in the direction that i want to go. kha from work is leaving, another Permit writer had a heart attack, another is being shipped ot Afghanisitan until september 2007. Plus I kinda had a shitty day. the girl i work with or more precisely the girl that gives me my assignmetns and keeps handing them back with shtty correctiins becaue its not how she would do it and she expects for me to be able to read her mind. Nope, i canb't read your mind sweetie.

I remember in the days before Asshole, I trusted myself and my judgement. I would have taken the job because i believe i learned a lto from the taking the position but now i'm so torn about leaving. one, i don't want to let down my boss, two i don't watn to seem like a failure. onther people thinking i'm a failure not a big deal but my bestfrined pretty much looks at me liek i'm a failure if i go back. what she thought never used to affect me. I've always done waht i thought was right but now since Asshole and she kept telling me that he was married and he was lying and I didn't listen to her, has made me doubt myself and now the stuff she says embeds itself in brain. she's a smart person but some of the things she says can be selfish or just not positive.

Ironically, Asshole gave good advice. probably becaue it wasn't advice he just listened mostly and gave really positive advice. I don't know. but he was really good at that and it makes me want to call him. But no, Neva dat!

Thanksgiving Week

Horrible week. All around F's. Probably spent around $200 on Thanksgiving food my mom conned me into buying. I didn't get out of the house except on Thursday. Didn't exercise very much. all i did was eat and sleep. I probably gained ten pounds but i'm scared to wiegh myself. tomorrow is another day at my much disliked job. oh, and the worst of all i didn't do any writing. None at all. do you know how much I could've gotten done in four days. I totally need to quit my job and go back to DEQ.

Last Week

Writing: A

Everything else: F

I really need to concentrate on Dress, Maya's homework, cleaning, blah blah blah. Everything. I wish I could find a husband where I didn't have to work and maybe it'll make doing everything ele a little bit easier. sigh...

I have to do better though...

The Weekend (October 20-22)

Finances: C spent 90 on shoes. No money on food!
Diet and Health: A. no fast food
Kids: A. great bonding weekend.
Writing: B, I did good, but for a weekend, I should have done more
House: F, I cleaned a little but there are a lot of house things I need to work on.

Working on for the coming week.

1. Sleeping earlier
2. Looking Good
3. Waking up earlier
4. Getting ready for Halloween.
5. House things to do!

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Finances: N/A, I didn't spend any money, which is good but i didn't have any chances to make good finanical choices.
Cleaning:D, Maya did her dishes, I'm tired. Room is dirty. bathroom is dirty. I plan on cleaning it tomorrow. We'll see.
Kids: C+, Maya was out of school but she ahd a bad day at Moma's. I think she needs to have some fun. Hopefully, I can get off of work tomorow
Work:C, hated it, but i wasn't on yahoo or my blog as mcuh as yesterday
Social: D... I talked to noone today.
Dress:C, I badly need a perm
Diet: B I did good, low fat wieners and nonfat weinees that didn't taste bad. I had chocolate cake though.
Writing: We'll see.

Work Tomorrow

Tomorrow at work I will not be on the internet checking my email all day. Nope Nope. Neither will I be checking my blog. I am limitted to three times blong and four times email. If I need a creative outlet I will edit my writings! Work Work Work!

Finances: B
Cleaning:NA it is a school night
Kids: C
Work:D
Social: B... I talked a lot in class and made friends.