Out of Town Sweet Hearts

Like Debt Hater I have an out-of-town sweetie. If you would have told me a year ago that I'd be driving for 3.5 hours one way to see some man, I would have called you a crazy and laughed in your face. Life is weird, and I drive once a month to see him for about $50 to $60 in gas.

So, taking on a long distance sweet heart is basicly like taking on another bill. Can I justify spending money that could be going towards bills, children, and debt just to see a man.

1. First of all, does this relationship have potential or are you just buddies?

I say this man has potential:

• He is thirty-three, tall, chocolate and handsome (my favorite type of chocolate). You know we always have to focus on looks first.. tsk, tsk. you'd think after two kids and two baby daddy's looks wouldn't matter so much.


• no kids. Which could be a positive or negative thing depending on how you look at it.


• He's currently attending the University of Arkansas for his master's. He says (and I know men say a lot of things, so I try to look at his actions also) that he's getting old and he's looking to settle down once he graduates.


• He likes kids and has no qualms about raising another man's children because he was not raised by his real father.

2. So if he is just a F buddy then I would have stopped dating him but since he has potential, I have to ask myself what are his future goals and how do I fit into those goals?

• He told me after he graduates that he plans to move to OKC.

3. What are my goals and how does he fit in.

• Right now I just want to work, save money, and write. I don't think I want any more kids. He wants one more child. I need to make up my mind about this.

Because he is a college student I pay for most things-- movies, gas, food and I don't mind, because I know that when he graduates in December and gets a job, I won't have to pay for our dates. but again, there are no guaruntees that this relationship will work out. So I have to ask myself will I regret the money I've spent on our dates and the gas it takes to see him if the relationship doesn't work out? Right now the answer is no. I enjoy the time I get to spend alone (no kids) on the 3.5 hr drive. I love the atmosphere and the trees of Arkansas. and maybe I'm beginning to love him.... Maybe. and despite my horrible track record with men, I still think it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.